My sense of style

Choosing exactly the right art for the right space is all about balance. Color and light. Presence and magnitude. I’m reworking this room, and really trying to be the Nik Wallenda of bathroom décor. Did I nail it? Or nail it perfectly?

Punch a Groundhog Day

Buffalo Bert was wrong. Like malfeasance wrong. He should be disbarred or defrocked or whatever it is we do to the furrier of the meteorologists. He said six more weeks of winter, and today, nine weeks later, I’m looking at snow. Sticky, slopy snow. His dereliction of duty is so severe I want to punch him in that smug little nose.

Though I’m not sure it’s all his fault. This year’s ceremony was held at Flying Bison Brewery. They woke this creature, offered him some beer, and asked him to predict the weather. He’s a groundhog from Buffalo! What’s he going to do, NOT slug down a larger at nine in the morning and tell us what we want to hear?

He’s only 25 pounds. Next year, I hope Paula’s Donuts is the sponsor.

My yard, April 5, 2024. 

En Suite Mystery of Life

This is a current photo from my bathroom. Two people use this bathroom. Two. Do you see anything wrong here? Why is no one talking about this? Toothbrushes breed, people. Left alone, in damp conditions, they multiply like relatives at the reading of a will. If you believe that the Rothschild’s ordered the Illuminati to keep Trump out of office during their great virus test, that’s fine.

But I’ve heard that one. How secret is a conspiracy that I know all about? Out here on Grand Island. No, it’s the conspiracies that we haven’t heard about that are shaping our society.

One of them involves getting extra toothbrushes into your house. YOUR HOUSE. Look for them.

Ah! Sweet mystery of life
At last I've found thee.