Stop me if you’ve heard this one. A dentist, a pool guy and an exterminator are all on your schedule for the day. The pool spent its winter emptying out, squirrels have moved into your eaves – paying no rent – and it’s time for your yearly checkup and cleaning. I wished they’d walked into a bar. I wish I’d met them all at a bar. I understand why bookies and loansharks work out of pubs. All the unsavory and all.
Anyway, ridding myself of the squatting rodents will cost me almost exactly what I made writing my last novel. To cover the pool, I’ll need to write nine more. Or one that’s nine times better, I guess. Don’t know that I’ve got that in me.
The dentist was by far the best part of my day. After reading my x-rays he said I have mouth of a 20-year-old, proving to me, finally, that exercise really can pay off.
Worst joke ever.
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