Thursday, April 11, 2013

Pink Guns

I don’t want to blow away the Second Amendment like a cantaloupe from 20 yards.  Really.  Guns are valuable and save lives.  Like fire extinguishers and life rafts and all kinds of other paraphernalia we don’t, as a people, fetishize.  The problem is guns are cool.  Not just what they can do and the power the project, they’re just cool.  A Triumph Bonneville is cool.  A TAG Heuer Carrera is cool.  A Walther PPK .380 is cool.  A DeWalt cordless drill is not particularly cool.  The firearm – a necessary tool – should be more like the drill and less like the motorcycle.  All guns should be hot pink.

Not National Geographic yellow, safety orange or even lime green (too racy).  They should be a grossly bright, over-stated, emasculating pink.  Some of the mystique would dissipate in the glow.  It shouldn’t really matter what color your tool is anyway.  A tool should be purposeful, not a life-style choice, bauble or proof-of-rank. 

Mandating that all guns sold to civilians in the U.S. be, and remain, hot pink wouldn’t erode any right to bear arms.  Yes, hunting might become slightly more difficult.  I don’t know.  The orange vests didn’t seem to give the deer legs up.  Turkey? I’m doubting the camouflage helps that much.  They’re wily. 

I don’t doubt fewer guns would mean fewer gun-related deaths in this country.  There would be fewer guns if they had the panache of bubble gum.

1 comment: