Marriage Belts

So my sister-in-law and her new husband have completed a year of marriage. And sure, they get to go on a little trip and smile, but it really doesn’t highlight the achievement.

I think you should get different colored belts. Like in Judo.

You go through a whole year, all four seasons, four major holidays, two birthdays, living in each other’s breath – it can be a tough transition. You deserve recognition. The bride starts out in white, so I guess it’s only natural that you move on to yellow if you get through the first twelve months.

It’s easier once you find the rhythm. I’m thinking orange after five years. Green if you have a child. Purple if you stay married once the kids are gone. Brown if you have you make it to 25 years, because holy shit? Right?

If you can stay married for 50 years you get your black belt in marriage. And which point, you should really teach. I, personally, would love to pick up a few pointers at the marriage dojo from a couple that made it work for that long.